Episode 16 - Being in d Present, Living in d Past

day started off slow,
not busy at all..
used almost my whole morning waiting..
everything was going slow..
easy going, nth much..

till about 3pm..
my samples were all run..
and results started to come up..
and i had 6 samples altogether..
they look something like this via a computer software
this software is called Decyder..


so,
my job was to scan all those spots..
comparing among the 6 samples..
to see which spots are absent and present
mainly focusing on peptides that are present..

from 3pm..
began analyzing the spots..
till about 5.30pm..only had 1 sample done..

took a break and went to Subway for dinner..
together with Wayne, WeiFun and Oiyin..
after dinner..
continued with my work on d spots..

till now.. 11pm..
i only managed to finish doing 3 samples..
getting tired..
think i'll stop analyzing it here..
continue it tomorrow..

my concept of improving oneself is firstly by self realization,

its tru self realization that u really learn..
u truly feel wad ur mistakes are..
and tru that, u willingly change for the better..

but y all this while..
i've been trying to change..
something that i know i shud change..
but actions are easier said that done..
for as long as i can remember..
since d day i said i would change this mistake of mine..
till today..i still couldnt..why?? why is it so hard??
is it coz of attention, pride? both i think i dun need..
to me, i dun let my pride stand in my way..
and i dun want attention..

susah ni~~
juz today,
i again kinda lost my temper..
although i didnt show,
but i'm sure they could sense it..
i lost it..totally lost it..
for no good reason at all..

luckily i am in d lab..
i could be alone..and not have to fake a smile..
Steph's advice is always on my mind..
d only thing that i could use to help ease my "anger"
aiyo..type d word anger also i angry at myself edi..
shit man~~
y do i lose it...fuck man..

Happy-Go-Lucky

sometimes..
i really feel i have reach a dead end where i cannot help myself..
i know its not right to turn to You now..
only when i am in need..
i have decided to turn to You Lord for guidance..
i pray that you could show me d right path to take..
lead me, guide me and Walk with me..
everyday in my life..
it is now that i need You more than any other time..
I know that You have never left me..
it is me who have departed far from You..
i ask for Your forgiveness..
and i confess all my sins..
In Your Holy Name i Pray,
Amen